A long and Winding Road

Anne and I went out of town with our girls this last week. We traveled on New Year’s Day, so, after just one week, we were able to sit next to each other for several hours talking as we traveled. Our trip did take us down the same road she had traveled a few weeks before. We passed a sign that brought this fact to my mind, and as we got closer to the “scene of the crime”, my guts twisted and my chest tightened. I think I was having a panic attack over the thought of driving through the town where my wife had had her fling. I had to let her drive. She knew I was hurting, and she knew why. Tears ran down her cheeks as she drove. As we ran past the exits for the city, I realized that there wasn’t really anything for me to react to. We started talking again. I shared what I was feeling, and she shared what she was feeling. I might be the “wounded party” but we are both hurt by what has happened.
We had a genuinely good weekend. We talked a lot, hugged a lot, and … (if you’ve seen Mamma Mia, you know what this means) In many ways we are rebuilding our relationship from the ground up. Ten days ago I couldn’t believe that there could be any road past adultery for us. Today I not only truly believe we will get past it, but that we could be stronger for having gone through this trial. It is going to be a long and winding road. We have already seen ups and downs, but we are making it.
Today I found myself flirting with my wife by text message. I can’t remember the last time I flirted with her in any way. We are, in many ways, like wary newlyweds. As anxious as I am to put this behind us, I hope we never forget how close we came to losing us. Our marriage is something we are both appreciating in a way that was forgotten long ago. It will be a long time before we are able to take each other for granted again. I hope and pray we will remember enough to avoid that trap again.
Don